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November 29 2009

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406. IF YOU FAKE POKE ME ON FACEBOOK ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO REAL HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH A BOOK.

(via gotwisdom)

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Words Women Use and What They Really Mean:

papertissue:

littlemiss:

  • Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
  • Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it’s an even trade.
  • Nothing - This means “something”, and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.
  • Go Ahead - At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
  • Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.
  • Go Ahead (Neutral Expression) - This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
  • Loud Sigh - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.
  • Soft Sigh - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
  • That’s Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.
  • Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
  • Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you’re welcome.
  • Thanks A Lot - This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing”. (Via)

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ohheyshannon: einahpets: candfood: to support gay marriage, ben and jerry changed “chubby hubby” to “hubby hubby.” chubby hubby was already my flavorite, but now it’s even better. This is amazing.

ohheyshannon:

einahpets:

candfood:

to support gay marriage, ben and jerry changed “chubby hubby” to “hubby hubby.” chubby hubby was already my flavorite, but now it’s even better.

This is amazing.

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someone who

will eat the second candy bar
study with me
call me at 11:30 and remind me to go to sleep
won’t call me “pretty”
is okay with me buying them lunch
gets me something while you’re at the vending machine
will go snowboarding with me
likes my stories
won’t smoke around me
tells me the truth
cuddles with me while we watch a movie
is able to get through sex scenes without making it awkward
smiles at me
knows that i like to hold hands on my left side
is able to help me shop for things
is okay with getting up a little early before school so we can have breakfast together
hugs me
tells me about their day
lets me get them things because i think they should have it
will wrap presents with me for the salvation army
lets me wear their clothes
watches out for me
trusts me
likes it when i go to their sport’s match
is okay with taking a second photo because i don’t think i look good
will go to shows with me
can recommend a good book/band/movie
takes promises seriously
corrects me when i’m wrong
will take my dog for a walk with me
tries to explain things when i don’t understand, but they do
realizes i care about what they think
will talk to me first
will wake up early and go to the beach to watch the sun rise
will get excited for the ice cream truck
will lay in the grass and watch the clouds with me
will build a snowman with me
will teach me something new

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thedailywhat: Inforgraphic of the Day: Valet.’s at-a-glance guide to tying scarves. The key is finding a knot that works with what you’re wearing, sort of like a tie. If you’ve got a suit and topcoat on, you probably don’t want to go with the loose loop. I’d say I’m somewhere between Basic and Escaped Mental Patient. How do you scarf? [via.]

thedailywhat:

Inforgraphic of the Day: Valet.’s at-a-glance guide to tying scarves.

The key is finding a knot that works with what you’re wearing, sort of like a tie. If you’ve got a suit and topcoat on, you probably don’t want to go with the loose loop.

I’d say I’m somewhere between Basic and Escaped Mental Patient.

How do you scarf?

[via.]

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while reading twilight i always pictured bella like hayley in this picture, but with brown hair.

while reading twilight i always pictured bella like hayley in this picture, but with brown hair.

November 28 2009